Mommy’s Rules

Mommy’s Rules:

1. Girls need to take turns when they are squawking. Only one girl squawking at a time.
2. No sitting on the baby.
3. No spitting at Mommy or Daddy, or at the baby, even if you are really angry with them.
4. No licking things. This includes Daddy’s hand, bus windows, the soles of shoes, money, and electrical outlets. And, of course, the baby.
5. No deliberately dumping entire cups of water on the carpet.
6. No shrieking as loudly as possible, in the bank or anywhere else.
7. No pretending Mommy’s jewelry is candy and then sucking on it.
8. No trying to gouge out Mommy’s eyes (this is mainly for Cora).
9. No sticking fingers up Mommy’s nose (for both children). This can lead to a bloody nose.
10. When the baby is sleeping, no shouting in her face, or rocking her car seat to wake her up (this rule is invariably ignored).
11. No drinking bath water or licking bath toys – see Rule 4.
12. No shoving non-food items into the baby’s mouth, even though she does not seem to mind.